I think I learned a lot of things about myself as a writer throughout the course of this class. The first thing being that I really love writing, and I think I am pretty good at it, especially after this class. I have learned my voice and how to address audience without saying it. I think that was my biggest hurdle overall, audience has been a struggle for me but I think I am finally getting it, especially after my Autoethnography blogpost. I think I have also learned that writing can be so many different things. You can write formally or informally, and we write every single day of our lives so it is important develop the skill and be able to communicate well.

My knowledge of travel and the travel industry has definitely been widened through this class. I honestly never thought much of the act of traveling I only thought of the destination but now through hearing other people’s stories that are different then mine I am going to think a lot more about it. It was crazy to me how much of a roadblock traveling was for some people, depending on the situation traveling can be a really hard thing to do. When we learned about how the TSA operator has to press a button for male or female when going through the security machine, my mind was blown. This one fact really helped me understand why traveling was in invasion of privacy and uncomfortable for some people. This also helped change my perspective of the travel industry as well. Knowing that people with disabilities and different sexualities and whatever else they identify with are not traveling because its a huge uncomfortable process made me think, “why are no airlines or companies jumping on the opportunity to be more accommodating so they would get more business?” It seems like a missed opportunity to me. I am hoping in the future more companies will change to be more inclusive of all people who want to travel.

My definition of rhetoric is the was you write in order to convey a message. I don’t know how much my definition of rhetoric has changed but I definitely better understand how to use rhetoric effectively. I have learned that there are many different ways to convey the story you want to tell, wether that be the classic ethos, logos, pathos or using the pentad. I think this class gave me a better understanding of rhetoric as a whole put more importantly that there are more ways than just ethos, logos, and pathos which I learned in high school.

The thing that was most challenging for me in this class was being able to have a defined audience in my writing without saying it out right. In the beginning of the course I honestly did not even understand why I needed an audience and why that was important, but now I realize it is because your writing is most likely going to have a set group of readers, who do you want those to be, and why? Then I thought I finally understood audience but I did not know how to imply my audience, I was very confused about that, hence why my Bourdain piece is a letter. Then finally after more work at it I finally figured it out with my autoethnography. I don’t think I am an expert on audience at all but I think slowly over time and drafts I will continue to work on it and understand it better and better.

I think it is important to read, write, and think rhetorically in todays world because it gives you an advantage in life. I think today with the media there is so much information coming at you, wether that is reliable, no one really knows. It is important to be able to look at that information and read it for understanding and analyze if you can trust it and what it means to you. After that you can think rhetorically and critically about it and form your own opinion and then communicate the opinion you have formed to other people. Not knowing how to read, write, and think rhetorically can be detrimental in the way where you will have to rely on other people’s opinions about topics because you will be unable to understand them yourself. Being independent, intelligent, and direct are important characteristics to have when communicating about a topic especially today when things are so split and extreme knowing what is going on and being informed and knowing where you stand. This is why I think it is important to think, read, and white rhetorically in todays world.

“I know you’re nervous, but you’d be a hell of a lot more nervous if you HAD to go there.” I kept trying to repeat that saying my mom told me to myself while waiting in the little black chair in this small room full of strangers. I told myself I was blessed I was here for a school project and not here because I was an alcoholic. I know Lili felt nervous too, we were so unfamiliar and incognizant to everything going on around us.

We started walking to the A.A. meeting in Hart Park around 7:15, we walked through the circle past some local businesses and delicious smelling restaurants until we finally ended up at the park. It was a brisk outside, sweatshirt weather, streetlights lining the streets and overall a relatively safe feeling part of Orange, CA. It smelled like a summer night, it was a peaceful walk, not too many cars or people, but that was disrupted as soon as we entered the park. As soon as you got there you wanted to look everywhere at once, the playground filled with toddlers and their parents, the beach volleyball courts packed with 20 year olds blasting music and serving up an intense game. Music playing and kids laughing filled the air, until the bell rang. An older white bearded man fit with suspenders holding up his blue jeans stood in the doorway of the little clubhouse and rang a bell above his head, it was time for the meeting to start. Me and Lili walked in the small one room building and saw all the chairs set up and a table in the front where the man in the suspenders sat along with a younger woman. Once you walked into the little room the outside world seemed to shut out. You were bombarded with fluorescent lights and the smell of hot, pot coffee.

Everyone there was so inviting and friendly, we got a big hug when we showed up and everyone made it so that we felt comfortable in a place that was uncomfortable. The whole meeting was full of inside jokes and laughter, which I did not expect going into it. They all have such a good sense of humor when it comes to alcoholism, everyone can take a joke and make a joke. The room was full of older men who would yell “60” before someone read tradition 9. It was a group of friends hanging out, all happy that everyone came back this week.

This was not my first AA meeting, but it was my first one in a really long time. I used to go when I was very young but I don’t remember much, most of the time I was put in a playroom to quietly read, away from the conversation.

I do remember wanting to go to the meeting when I was younger because there would be donuts and cookies, but that was all I cared about. I did not mind sitting and reading while my mom talked in a big circle filled with strangers. Then when I got a little older and stopped going to meeting because I could stay home alone or someone was there to watch me, I started to understand what Alcoholism really was. It was confusing at first because the stereotypical alcoholic in my head was not anything like my mom yet she still went to these meeting, why? I thought alcoholics recovering or not didn’t care about their life and I thought they just sat in bars all day because they had nothing else to do, but thats not my mom. My mom is a successful business owner, marathon runner, and phenomenal mother to my brother and I, but she is a recovering alcoholic. Over time I realized that alcoholism affects all different kinds or people and alcoholics are just people who struggle and fight with controlling alcohol and hopefully they are in A.A to help them reclaim control back into their lives. Then I went to the Hart Park meeting and all of those feelings came back as I looked around the room. Seeing people of all different races and ages, I realized that all of these people were great, funny, caring people that were gaining back control of their life.

My life has been changed by A.A., but I am not an alcoholic. Through my mom and uncle’s experience in the program, I have found several life lessons through being the daughter and niece of an alcoholic. She taught me how to be compassionate, kind, giving, and open-minded and she learned all of these things in A.A.

My mom has been sober for 29 years and she has been in A.A. the whole time. A.A. has changed her life in more ways than just getting sober. She has created really meaningful connections through this program and she gets so much fulfillment when she helps other people who are struggling with the same disease she is. “I’m willing to help other people, sharing my experience and my strengths with other people, and helping them incorporate the 12 steps into their life.” My mom is a sponsor which means that she is there for people in the program when they are beginning their journey and they can call her any time of the day if they feel like drinking.

I’ve been familiar with alcoholism my whole life, like I said my mom and also my uncle are both recovering alcoholics and they attend AA meetings quite frequently. However going to a meeting was never something I chose to do, even though it was so prevalent in my life. It is funny how something can be so close to you yet such a mystery, to me that is AA.

I thought that since I struggled with the concept of alcoholism and what that meant for me and my mom that maybe other kids thought about those things too. I had found a breakthrough for children of alcoholics, my grand idea was to create a program in school where kids could meet up and talk about their experience and find other people who were in the same boat as them. However when I told my mom about this she let me know that it was already a thing. “Ala Teen is a program where kids can meet together, always with a trained Al Anon person with them.” This surprised me because I had never heard about it before and I wondered why that was. Why had I, a child of an alcoholic, never even heard of this program? Honestly, I think it is because Alcoholism is a disease that we don’t talk about and a lot of people are ashamed of it, so kids do not want to be associated with that.

The fact that alcoholism affects so many people in the US, but it is still not an topic at the forefront in our conversations is a problem. Especially because many kids are suffering from being in a family with this disease. A staggering amount of kids including myself, who have parents that are alcoholics, in A.A or not, are greatly affected by it. Sadly a lot of the time it is in a negative way because their parent is still an active alcoholic. The American Addiction Center says that “As many as 76 million Americans (around 45 percent of the population) have been exposed to some form of alcoholism or alcoholic behaviors in their family; and as many as 26.8 million of those people are children.” This means that those 26.8 million are also more likely to develop alcoholism, marry an alcoholic, or abuse a different drug. That is a staggering amount of people who are more susceptible to this deadly disease.

When I told my mom about this information I asked her if she was scared being a mom and an alcoholic and how those two identities of hers stacked up with each other. “Relapse never really scared me and that I wouldn’t be able to raise my children, [but] alcoholism is a family disease so clearly I worry about my children being affected.” When she told me this it made me think back to the Hart Park A.A. meeting I went to where two people shared their stories to me and how they connected to my mom’s.

Lets start with Steve, he was a tall, lanky man wearing clothes that seemed one size too big. Just by looking at him you could tell he was shy with his shoulders slightly slumped, but he had the sweetest smile and was so friendly when he introduced himself to Lili and I. He talked a lot about his kids and how he knew he had to get better for them because he was ending up like his father who he did not want to be. He is now sober and he said it feels so good to be someone his kids can look up to in their life. He is grateful that his kids have not abused drugs or alcohol. He then asked me, “have you ever done drugs or alcohol?” I told him no, and he said “Good, you’re smart don’t get caught up in those things.” Which we both knew I knew, I told him about my mom and so we immediately has this mutual connection which I did not expect in the beginning, but we got each other in a way.

Along with Steve, the speaker of the meeting was a younger middle aged woman who has two sons. She looked so put together, sporting athletic clothes and a perfect ponytail. She smiled big the whole meeting and you could tell she kept all the men there in line. She shared her story of alcoholism and how it effected every aspect of her life. Her job, family, relationship with herself, and especially her kids. The part that stuck out to me the most was when she said she did not know if she was going to remember her sons graduation. She did not have any control of her life where she couldn’t stop drinking for the couple hours where her first son would be graduating high school. This hit hard for me because if my mom hadn’t gotten sober before I was born this could have been her, and we would not have the relationship we have now. I would not be able to count on her like I can now and that scares me a lot. That is what makes me so thankful for her strength over this disease.

“A lot of people have a lot of guilt and shame around their parenting, the alcohol came before their parenting,” my mom told me. This makes sense and also confirmed my thoughts about how much more help there should be for children affected by this disease. There are programs for adults and even adult children that are more widespread, but only one for teens that I have never even heard about. Al Anon is a group for family members of alcoholics, whether active or recovering and how to cope with the worries and stress of living with someone with this disease. “Al-Anon members are people, just like you, who are worried about someone with a drinking problem.” ACA or Adult Children of Alcoholics is also a huge program that my mom had heard about and she said was really popular among the community. She told me “Ala Teen is not as thriving as AA or Al Anon because they are teens and thats not cool.” This makes me sad because its true, teens don’t want to be associated with it especially if their parent is still an active alcoholic, which is why the program is not as widespread, but that just proves the point more of how it is a disease people are ashamed of, but should be talked about more.

As a teen with a recovering alcoholic mother I can understand where they are coming from, because my mom always says she is an alcoholic, she doesn’t always add the word “recovering” in front. When she used to talk about her alcoholism and her being an alcoholic, even if it was at home I would start feeling a little embarrassed and think “why does she say alcoholic? She is not an alcoholic.” But as I got older I realized that this is her life and her story and it is nothing to be ashamed of. I also think that way too because my mom is sober, I think it would be very different if she was still an active alcoholic. Now I actually find pride in her story because it shows what a strong woman she is, and I am so lucky that she is my role model. Also if teens wanted to learn more about alcoholism or A.A, they could always go to a meeting like I did, however I did not see any teens there when I went.

I clearly did not fit into the group of people at the Hart Park A.A. meeting, I was not an alcoholic. I was an outsider, but not really. Because I am a child of someone that goes to these meetings I understand them more than the average Joe. However I did not have the one thing that they all had in common, a past of abusing alcohol. I do have to say though, everything else about them was unique, and that is what I think is so special about A.A. You don’t have to be one race, gender, sexuality, you just have to want to get better. “Ive been going for 30 years and i’ve never seen one person get kicked out. And i’ve seen many things, people come in drunk, people come in fighting, they just welcome them and help them.” Says my mom, and I totally understood that from the meeting I went to.

As the meeting came to a close everyone got up and started refilling their styrofoam coffee cups and unwrapping sleeves of Donettes. They all stayed past the end of the meeting to talk and catch up with one another. It really was the strongest sense of community I have ever felt in that little clubhouse on Tuesday night at 8.

Overall going to the A.A. meeting at Hart Park really opened my eyes, it reassured me about the choices i’m making in my life, it helped me connect with my mom, uncle, and all the other kids like me. It opened my eyes to the realization of how many people, especially children are in risk of developing this disease bevcause of their family. It really is a family disease like my mom said and it effects everyone in that family. Everyone was different in the meeting I went to, they all had their individual lives and even thought theirs involved alcoholism that does not make them better or worse than mine, it just makes it theirs. My mom has always brought home the lessons she has learned from A.A. and it has changed my life dramatically. She taught me how to be compassionate, kind, giving, and open-minded and after this experience I realized that she learned those things through this program. I realized how much that has had an effect on me and how it most likely has had an effect on other kids as well.

As for parents that are alcoholics I hope that you get better from this disease or I hope that you continue to fight against it because it means the world to have a role model like you in your kids life, trust me.

*names were changed for privacy reasons

I’m not going to share details of Steve’s story or anyone else in that room tonight, because that is the 11th tradition out of the 12 traditions. “Our relations with the general public should be characterized by personal anonymity. We think A.A. ought to avoid sensational advertising. Our names and pictures as A.A. members ought not be broadcasted, filmed, or publicly printed…” I want to respect the traditions and people of A.A. and therefor will not be going into detail about their personal stories. However if you want to find out, check out the Hart Park meeting Tuesday nights at 8, I can assure you it will be an interesting time.

Dear Poppa,

Remember when we used to eat dinner together, me, you, Jack, and Mimi. We would sit around the table, a steaming plate of chicken cutlets in front of us, and putting our napkins on our lap. I never forget to put my napkin on my lap now. Then we would all hold hands and Mimi would say grace. Your hand was my favorite to hold, calluses and all. Then, we would dig in.

Recently I watched this show that reminded me of those dinners. I watched an episode of Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown where he goes to Japan with his friend Masa Takayama, and they explore the world of Japanese food through the town where Masa grew up. This episode reminded me of us because they ate a lot of meals together, and it was always a comfortable and homey vibe, just like our dinners. I found a sort of bridge connecting both our culture with Masa’s Japanese culture. This episode really showed me that no matter where you come from coming together, especially at the dinner table, unites people. If you ever slow down and get the chance I would recommend watching an episode.

Along with that episode I love to watch food shows and videos online. I know you don’t know what Tasty is, but it’s a company that makes videos about food online. They have recipes, challenges, and just fun videos overall. I know its crazy what people come up with nowadays, but is really popular, and I love it. I watch their videos all the time, especially their Japanese ones, they are so interesting, I’m falling in love with the culture and food of Japan. Which makes sense why I loved the Anthony Bourdain episode so much because thats what it was all about! I also found a series on Netflix called Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat, which deepened my interest in the food and culture of Japan. This series talks about how Salt, Fat, Acid, and Heat are all the components you need to create a perfectly balanced meal. Samin Nosrat (the host) goes to different places in the world to explore each of these components of food. For the Salt episode she goes to Japan and explores how they use salt in their cooking. I know you wish I would fall in love with Italian cuisine, or making pizza, but I think Jack can handle that. 

Anthony Bourdain travels around Japan with his friend Masa Takayama. Masa Takayama is an esteemed chef that owns a three- Michelin- starred restaurant in NYC called Masa. Bourdain says “to call him America’s most respected sushi chef would be an injustice, as he is more than that, much more.” It costs almost $600 dollars to eat at his restaurant per person! Good thing Mimi liked your pizza, and not sushi. 

In my Writing class i’m taking this year at Chapman we learned about the rhetorical appeals, Ethos, Logos, and Pathos. I know you probs know what they are, but in case you need a refresher, they are tools to support your argument in different ways. Anyway, I think this episode leans a lot into the use of Pathos to appeal to the emotional message of Masa growing up, learning, changing and ending up where he is now. “What was it about him that set him apart, took him from a rather bleak farming community in rural Japan to become first, the toast of Los Angeles and later, the king of New York.” I wonder the same thing Bourdain does about Masa about you, what sets you apart and made you into a successful business owner you were? 

I think both of you stand out because you were hard workers and didn’t stop. You both have a passion about you that no one can compete with and thats what I think really sets you apart.

However, I have fond memories of when you did stop and we sat at the table surrounded with good food and family. When I think of good food, our family comes to mind first, coming over for dinner was my favorite thing to do. We still have family dinners sometimes at your house, but not as often. Mimi doesn’t cook as much anymore, but she learned how to make pasta this year, and it was really good! Her and Brandon made it for me, it made me happy to see her love cooking again. You and her taught me that one of the most personal things is to share a meal with family or friends, and in the Anthony Bourdain episode that same vibe really comes through. 

They angle the camera close to the table whenever Bourdain and Masa are eating together, and it is almost to the perspective of you sitting there with them, it gives you a cozy yet familiar vibe. This is also reflected in Masa’s restaurant, where even though it is a high end meal, you dress casually and comfortably, and no tip is given, it is like having a meal with a friend.

One scene, around 25 minutes in we meet Masa’s mother and daughter. There are many old photos shown of Masa growing up, and they all have a meal together talking about Masa when he was younger, like any mom would. This scene reminds me a lot of when we would have family dinner, everyone is relaxed and helping out around the kitchen, the picnic table surrounded with pictures old art projects. We would eat Managottis, but they eat a traditional Japanese comfort food, Motsuni, a mixed meat and vegetable stew. Masa doesn’t have to be the professional chef he is in New York, just like you didn’t have to be the boss around the table, he can relax and have a nice home cooked meal, which everyone needs every once and awhile.

Just like you, Masa has come a long way from a farm town. He changed a lot from his first job in a small sushi restaurant, to the now well known, esteemed chef that he is. Everyone has to start from somewhere. There are people in all of our lives that show you what it takes to be successful and to show you that if you work hard, anything is possible, that person to me was you Poppa. Masa’s story shows you that all you need is drive, it does not matter your past, only what you make of your future. However this episode also points out that you need support to be able to be successful and push yourself to the limit. You showed me what support and family is supposed to be like. Our family and our traditions reflect Masa and his family as well and it reiterates my point from the beginning of how it does not matter who you are, coming together as a family unites you and gives you the strength to pursue other parts of your life. This episode sits you down with Masa himself and lets you into his life, it is an emotionally thrilling story, and Bourdain does an excellent job of telling it. Maybe this episode will help you fall in love with Japan and its food just as much as it did to me. I hope you get a chance to watch it, if not we can watch it together when I get to you.

I love and miss you, 

Livy

Scrolling through Instagram you see your friend #selfiesunday, an ad for some Zaful clothes, an inspirational quote that Karamo Brown from Queer Eye Posted, and the latest video of some kid unsuccessfully skateboarding down a flight of stairs. Your Instagram is a perfect example of Multimodality.

Multimodality surrounds us every single day, we are continuously bombarded with multi modal text, filled with videos, graphics, letters, etc… Now even on airlines, we see beautiful examples of how Multimodality is prevalent in everyday life and in travel.

In the Bogost Rhetoric excerpt, it mentions how Aristotle did not define rhetoric as only verbal. “Effectively, rhetoric was extended to account for new modes of inscription – especially literary and artistic modes. Rhetoric in writing, painting, sculpture, and other media do not necessarily make the same direct appeals to persuasion as oratory.” (19) This is the first step toward people realizing Multimodality can be used effectively to portray a certain meaning and use “out of the box” modes to get across a message, and that is exactly what the United safety video is doing.

In this screenshot from the United safety video you hear the Swedish band start to play as the flight attendant begins talking about oxygen masks, then it pans over to three people wearing lederhosen, bopping to the music as they demonstrate how to correctly put on the masks. It is clearly portraying the message of how to put on your oxygen mask and what to do if your child or another child is in your row. Obviously throughout this video they have tried to keep a theme of fun and party which makes sense because it keeps you engaged about the otherwise boring information. However in order to have the scene and place be able to be figured out so quickly they have included stereotypes of the place and people that live there. The clothes and music are traditional to Swedish culture but that does not mean everyone there looks like that and listens to that kind of music. Along with the pretzels that is another stereotype they are playing into.

The Bogost excerpt does not necessarily talk about travel or culture, however it does talk about digital rhetoric through online blogs, wikis, websites etc… And even though going online does not mean your traveling, there are many things online that can make it feel like you are going on a trip or traveling to a new place in the comfort of your own home. For example watching a youtube video about someones vacation, or reading an article with photos on a skydiving adventure or a “must see” tropical beach in Cancun, you can “travel” through Multimodality online. This relates to the United video because they are showing you all the places you could travel to on your next United flight within the safety video. You don’t have to actually leave to get more insight and information on new places, cultures, and experiences. However it is important to keep in mind that because they are picking and choosing what to include you are not going to get the whole experience that you would if you did actually travel there. This is one disadvantage to travel and technology, it gives the creator the ability to get rid of or add anything they want even if it is part of the place. For example in the next scene it shows India and all the people having a huge colorful party, however that is not what India is really like all the time. For example it doesn’t portray that India is one of the most populated countries in the world, and also that they have the most lingual diversity.

Besides the fact of omission when it comes to travel and technology, the picture above emphasizes my point about learning about the culture without actually having to go there. This brings across the message that they do this in India as a tradition or something fun to do, and it is something different that we do not do in America. Like I said before, this continues the theme of fun in the video which still emphasizing travel and culture. I think that this brings a lot to the United video because they want flying with United to seem like an easy, even fun thing to do, and this scene definitely conveys that message.

Overall I think that both the United airline video and the piece on rhetoric give us good insight on how you can use Multimodality and rhetoric to portray different messages in an out of the box way. An airline safety video does not have to be strictly facts and it can teach you more than just safety information. As well as the rhetoric piece, that gave insight about how even back in Aristotle’s time Multimodality was an idea that was soon to come to life.

My name is Olivia Talevi, but everyone just calls me Liv. I come from Wells, Maine which is a medium sized town in southern Maine. My town is a huge tourist spot and people from all over come for the summer months, either staying at a campground, hotel, or renting a cute house on our beautiful sandy beaches.

My parents actually happen own a campground in our town, so I grew up surrounded by seasonal friends and almost lived in a summer camp. However since my parents had the winters off we spent it traveling, and that made me love this beautiful world we live in and it made me love exploring it.

I am a creative person, I like to express my creativity in different ways for example crocheting, drawing, baking, and doing crafts in general. Another thing about me is I have always really enjoyed school, ever since I started pre-school I have just loved learning and I have always had a connection with my teachers and classmates. Overall I think I am a kind and loving person and my family and friends have always been a huge part of my life. I come from a big family so whenever holidays come around and I get to spend my time with them, it really fills my heart.

In my immediate family I have a brother named Jack, my mom Lee and my dad Jason. We have always been really close and we laugh and hang out all the time. I also have a boyfriend names Ryan and we have been dating for 4 years, we get along super well and never fight, I would say he is definitely my best friend because I can be myself around him and he merges into my life so easily it is really awesome.

One of my favorite travel experiences I have had is just traveling to Central America as a whole. I have been to Central America a handful of times, specifically Costa Rica, and Nicaragua. My family tends to prefer renting houses in the heart of town, in order to immerse ourselves into the culture and everydayness of the place we are. There is so much to be learned from watching and interacting with the local people and places of a new country. This has been a life changing experience for me because it made me realize how happiness and gratitude is not expressed or gotten through material things. The natives of Nosara, Costa Rica are not bathing in material items, or expensive clothes, they are getting through by fishing for their dinner for the night, and they are the friendliest, happiest people I have ever met.

This class excites me because I will hopefully be able to read other peoples stories about their adventures and learn something from it. I am nervous about the workload, that is not super specific to this class but just in general since its my first year at college, I am a little worried about the amount of work I will have to do night to night. I know this course is about travel, but after today I realize it is going to be more than just writing out my experience and i’m actually excited about that because I did a little bit of analysis in high school and I liked it. I hope to really improve my writing skills during this class, I think that writing is very important and a great skill to master for the future, because things can come across the way you need and want them to when you know how to write it. Overall creating and working on the skill of writing is my goal for this class, so I am hoping that will happen.

Terministic screens are the way in which we view the world based on who we are. Everyone has a different terministic screen, but I think mine is based around me growing up in Maine being a white female and the family I come from.

I grew up in Maine which is the safest state in the nation. Because of this I see the world in a way where I think people are inevitably good. As I have come to college I have noticed people, girls especially, be scared to Uber by themselves or even without a man. This really surprised me because I just think, this is the Uber’s job and the majority of the time they are just trying to make some money so why would it be worth it to them to put you in harms way. Back home I didn’t have to lock my car doors, you could walk around at night if you wanted (most people didn’t because its really cold) and there was really no crime at all. While sometimes I see my mindset as naive, am I overlooking something I should be more focused on? Overall I think that always thinking positively and not living in fear makes me more courageous and easy going because I am not caught up on the “what if?”

Me being a white female is another part of my terministic screen because it alters the way I look at the world. I realize that being a white person I have had the opportunity to see people like me be successful and victorious in the media which is always beneficial when you are growing up. It made me think that I could do anything in the world if I worked hard enough. Being a woman is a different viewpoint in the way that I think I am very empathetic toward people and I have grown up being told that showing empathy and feelings is okay and good. I think that would be different for a male, depending on their family and where they grow up. Other than that though I think that I am just as capable to do anything then someone of the different sex, I have never been told that I couldn’t do something because I am a woman so that has never been in my head. My Nana always told me that I march to the beat of my own drummer, and that being independent and capable are important. This has definitely pushed me and given me confidence to be those things and do what I want in this world no matter what. I understand that that is different for some women but I do believe that the world is progressing and women can do anything a man can do.

When it comes to my family, I really think that they have shaped the way I look at the world. They have always been really open minded and told me to go after anything I wanted. This has made me into a really hard worker and driven person. As far as the open-minded concept, I come from a white-town in Maine and so there is little to no diversity of people. I think for a lot of people this results in a narrow mindset, either because of in-exposure or because of what they have been taught. Thankfully for me my parents have always been really adamant about opening my mind and realized/appreciating the different people in this world and I think that has largely impacted how I view/do things in my life. Going back to the female screen I look through, I think that that was also affected because I have a brother and growing up me and him were always equal. We were both encouraged to do sports, both told to do well in school and we always had the same expectations on us. This furthers the thought that I feel equal to men and other women because growing up I was.

https://talevi5.wixsite.com/talevianalysis

this is my final project, a website.

“I know you’re be nervous, but you’d be a hell of a lot more nervous if you HAD to go there.” I kept trying to repeat that saying my mom told me to myself while waiting in the little black chair in the small room full of strangers. I told myself I was blessed I was here for a school project and not here because I was an alcoholic. I know Lili felt nervous too, we were so unfamiliar and naive to everything going on around us.

We started walking to the A.A. meeting in Hart Park around 7:15, we walked through the circle past some local businesses and delicious smelling restaurants until we finally ended up at the park. It was a brisk outside, sweatshirt weather, streetlights lining the streets and overall a relatively safe feeling part of Orange, CA. It smelled like a summer night, it was a peaceful walk, not too many cars or people, but that was disrupted as soon as we entered the park. As soon as you got there you wanted to look everywhere at once, the playground filled with toddlers and their parents, the beach volleyball courts packed with 20 year olds blasting music and serving up an intense game. Music playing and kids laughing filled the air, until the bell rang. An older white bearded man fit with suspenders holding up his blue jeans stood in the doorway of the little clubhouse and rang a bell above his head, it was time for the meeting to start. Once you walked into the little room the outside world seemed to shut out. You were bombarded with fluorescent lights and the smell of hot, pot coffee.

Everyone there was so inviting and friendly, we got a big hug when we showed up and everyone made it so that we felt comfortable in a place that was uncomfortable. The whole meeting was full of inside jokes and laughter, which I did not expect going into it. They all have such a good sense of humor when it comes to alcoholism, everyone can take a joke and make a joke. The room was full of older men who would yell “60” before someone would read tradition 9. It was a group of friends hanging out, all happy that everyone came back this week.

My life has been changed by A.A., but I am not an alcoholic. Through my mom and uncle’s experience in the program, I have found several life lessons through being the daughter and niece of an alcoholic.

My mom has been sober for 29 years and she has been in A.A. the whole time. A.A. has changed her life in more ways than just getting sober. She has created really meaningful connections through this program and she gets so much fulfillment when she helps other people who are struggling with the same disease she is. “I’m willing to help other people, sharing my experience and my strengths with other people, and helping them incorporate the 12 steps into their life.” My mom is a sponsor which means that she is there for people in the program when they are beginning their journey and they can call her any time of the day if they are feeling like drinking.

I’ve been familiar with alcoholism my whole life, my mom and uncle are both recovering alcoholics and they attend AA meetings quite frequently. However going to a meeting was never something I chose to do, even though it was so prevalent in my life. I used to go when I was very young but I don’t remember much, most of the time I was put in a playroom to quietly read, away from the conversation. It is funny how something can be so close to you yet such a mystery, to me that is AA.

I do remember wanting to go to the meeting when I was younger because there would be donuts and cookies there but that was all I cared about. I did not mind sitting and reading while my mom talked in a big circle with strangers. Then when I got a little older and stopped going to meeting because I could stay home alone or someone was there to watch me, I started to understand what Alcoholism really was. It was confusing at first because the stereotypical alcoholic in my head was not anything like my mom yet she still went to these meeting, why? I thought alcoholics recovering or not didn’t care about their life and I thought they just sat in bars all day because they had nothing else to do, but thats not my mom. My mom is a successful business owner, marathon runner, and phenomenal mom but she is an alcoholic. Over time I realized that alcoholism affects all different kinds or people and you are just a human who struggles with alcohol and hopefully you are in A.A to help you reclaim the control in your life.

I thought that since I struggled with the concept of alcoholism and what that meant for me and my mom that maybe other kids thought about those things too. I had found a breakthrough for children of alcoholics, my grand idea was to create a program in school where kids could meet up and talk about their experience and find other people who were in the same boat as them. However when I told my mom about this she let me know that it was already a thing. “Ala Teen is a program where kids can meet together always with a trained Al Anon person with them.” This surprised me because I had never heard about it before and I wondered why that was. Why had I, a child of an alcoholic, never even heard of this program? Honestly, I think it is because Alcoholism is a disease that we don’t talk about and is ashamed of and looked down upon so kids and even schools don’t want to associate with it.

The fact that alcoholism affects so many people in the US, but it is still not an topic at the forefront in our conversations is a problem. Especially because many kids are suffering from being in a family with this disease. A staggering amount of kids including myself, who have parents that are alcoholics, in A.A or not, are greatly affected by it. Sadly a lot of the time it is in a negative way because their parent is still an active alcoholic. “As many as 76 million Americans (around 45 percent of the population) have been exposed to some form of alcoholism or alcoholic behaviors in their family; and as many as 26.8 million of those people are children.” This means that those 26.8 million are also more likely to develop alcoholism, marry an alcoholic, or abuse a different drug. That is a staggering amount of people who are more susceptible to this deadly disease.

When I told my mom about this information I asked her if she was scared being a mom and an alcoholic and how those two identities of hers stacked up with each other. “Relapse never really scared me and that I wouldn’t be able to raise my children, [but] alcoholism is a family disease so clearly I worry about my children being affected.” When she told me this it made me think back to the Hart Park A.A. meeting I went to where two people shared their stories to me and how they connected to my mom’s.

Lets start with Steve, he talked a lot about his kids and how he knew he had to get better for them because he was ending up like his father who he did not want to be. He is now sober and he said it feels so good to be someone his kids can look up to in their life. He is grateful that his kids have not abused drugs or alcohol. He then asked me, “have you ever done drugs or alcohol?” I told him no, and he said “Good, you’re smart don’t get caught up in those things.” Which we both knew I knew, I told him about my mom and so we immediately has this mutual connection which I did not expect in the beginning, but we got each other in a way.

Along with Steve, the speaker of the meeting was a younger middle aged woman who has two sons. She shared her story of alcoholism and how it effected every aspect of her life. Her job, family, relationship with herself, and especially her kids. The part that stuck out to me the most was when she said she did not know if she was going to remember her sons graduation. She did not have any control of her life where she couldn’t stop drinking for the couple hours where her first son would be graduating high school. This hit hard for me because if my mom hadn’t have gotten sober before I was born this could have been her. And we would not have the relationship we have now and I would not be able to count on her like I can now and that scares me a lot. That is what makes me so thankful for her strength over this disease.

“A lot of people have a lot of guilt and shame around their parenting, the alcohol came before their parenting,” my mom told me. This makes sense and also confirmed my thoughts about how much more help there should be for children affected by this disease. There are programs for adults and even adult children that are more widespread, but only one for teens that I have never even heard about. Al Anon is a group for family members of alcoholics, whether active or recovering and how to cope with the worries and stress of living with someone with this disease. “Al-Anon members are people, just like you, who are worried about someone with a drinking problem.” ACA or Adult Children of Alcoholics is also a huge program that my mom had heard about and she said was really popular among the community. She told me “Ala Teen is not as thriving as AA or Al Anon because they are teens and thats not cool.” This makes me sad because its true, teens don’t want to be associated with it especially if their parent is still an active alcoholic, which is why the program is not as widespread, but that just proves the point more of how it is an ashamed disease, but should be talked about more.

I clearly did not fit into the group of people at the Hart Park A.A. meeting, I was not an alcoholic. I was an outsider, but not really. Because I am a child of someone that goes to these meetings I understand them more than the average Joe. However I did not have the one thing that they all had in common, a past of abusing alcohol. I do have to say though, everything else about them was unique, and that is what I think is so special about A.A. You don’t have to be one race, gender, sexuality, you just have to want to get better. “Ive been going for 30 years and i’ve never seen one person get kicked out. And i’ve seen many things, people come in drunk, people come in fighting, they just welcome them and help them.” Says my mom, and I totally understood that from the meeting I went to.

Overall going to the A.A. meeting at Hart Park really opened my eyes, it reassured me about the choices i’m making in my life, it helped me connect with my mom, uncle, and all the other kids like me. It opened my eyes to the realization of how many people, especially children are in risk of developing this disease bevcause of their family. It really is a family disease like my mom said and it effects everyone in that family. Everyone was different in the meeting I went to, they all had their individual lives and even thought theirs involved alcoholism that does not make them better or worse than mine, it just makes it theirs. My mom has always brought home the lessons she has learned from A.A. and it has changed my life dramatically. She taught me how to be compassionate, kind, giving, and open-minded and after this experience I realized that she learned those things through this program. I realized how much that has had an effect on me and how it most likely has had an effect on other kids as well.

As for parents that are alcoholics I hope that you get better from this disease or I hope that you continue to fight against it because it means the world to have a role model like you in your kids life, trust me.

*names were changed for privacy reasons

I’m not going to share details of Steve’s story or anyone else in that room tonight, because that is the 11th tradition out of the 12 traditions. “Our relations with the general public should be characterized by personal anonymity. We think A.A. ought to avoid sensational advertising. Our names and pictures as A.A. members ought not be broadcasted, filmed, or publicly printed…” I want to respect the traditions and people of A.A. and therefor will not be going into detail about their personal stories. However if you want to find out, check out the Hart Park meeting Tuesday nights at 8, I can assure you it will be an interesting time.

Dear Poppa,

Remember when we used to eat dinner together, me, you, Jack, and Mimi. We would sit around the table, a steaming plate of chicken cutlets in front of us, and putting our napkins on our lap. I never forget to put my napkin on my lap now. Then we would all hold hands and Mimi would say grace. Your hand was my favorite to hold, calluses and all. Then, we would dig in. I watched this episode of Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown where he goes to Japan with his friend Masa Takayama, and they explore the world of Japanese food through the towns where Masa grew up. This episode reminded me of us because they ate a lot of meals together, and it was always a comfortable and homey vibe. It felt like our dinners.

I know you were a worker bee, and you could never sit down and watch these episodes, but I would really recommend it, especially now that you have a little more time. 

I know you don’t know what Tasty is, but it’s a company that makes videos about food online. I know its crazy what people come up with nowadays, but is really popular, and I love it. I watch their videos all the time, especially their Japanese ones, they are so interesting, I’m falling in love with the culture and food of Japan. Which makes sense why I loved the Anthony Bourdain episode so much. I also found a series on Netflix called Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat, which deepened my interest in the food and culture of Japan. This series talks about how Salt, Fat, Acid, and Heat are all the components you need to create a perfectly balanced meal. Samin Nosrat (the host) goes to different places in the world to explore each of these components of food. For the Salt episode she goes to Japan and explores how they use salt in their cooking. I know you wish I would fall in love with Italian cuisine, or making pizza, but I think Jack can handle that. 

Masa Takayama is an esteemed chef that owns a three- Michelin- starred restaurant in NYC called Masa. Bourdain says “to call him America’s most respected sushi chef would be an injustice, as he is more than that, much more.” It costs almost $600 dollars to eat at his restaurant per person! Good thing Mimi liked your pizza, and not sushi. 

I’m sure you learned about Ethos, Logos, and Pathos either when you were in college or after that, you’re the smartest guy I know. Anyway, I think this episode leans a lot into the use of Pathos to appeal to the emotional message of Masa growing up and learning and changing and ending up where he is now. “What was it about him that set him apart, took him from a rather bleak farming community in rural Japan to become first, the toast of Los Angeles and later, the king of New York.” I wonder the same thing Bourdain does about Masa about you, what sets you apart and made you into a successful business owner you were? 

When I think of good food, our family comes to mind first, coming over for dinner are still some of my favorite memories. Mimi doesn’t cook as much anymore, but she learned how to make pasta this year, and it was really good! Her and Brandon made it for me, it made me happy to see her love cooking again. You and her taught me that one of the most personal things is to share a meal with family or friends, and in this episode that really comes through. 

They angle the camera close to the table whenever Bourdain and Masa are eating together, and it is almost to the perspective of you sitting there with them, it gives you a cozy yet familiar vibe. This is also reflected in Masa’s restaurant, where even though it is a high end meal, you dress casually and comfortably, and no tip is given, it is like having a meal with a friend.

One of the more emotional parts of this episode is around 25 minutes in, when we meet Masa’s mother and daughter. There are many old photos shown of Masa growing up, and they all have a meal together talking about Masa when he was younger, like any mom would. This scene reminds me a lot of when we would have family dinner, everyone is relaxed and helping out around the kitchen, the picnic table surrounded with pictures old art projects. We would eat Managottis, but they eat a traditional Japanese comfort food, Motsuni, a mixed meat and vegetable stew. Masa doesn’t have to be the professional chef he is in New York, just like you didn’t have to be the boss around the table, he can relax and have a nice home cooked meal, which everyone needs every once and awhile.

Masa has come a long way from a farm town, to his first job in a small sushi restaurant, to the now well known, esteemed chef that he is. Everyone has to start from somewhere. There are people in all of our lives that show you what it takes to be successful and to show you that if you work hard, anything is possible, that person to me was you Poppa. Masa’s story shows you that all you need is drive, it does not matter your past, only what you make of your future. This episode sits you down with Masa himself and lets you into his life, it is an emotionally thrilling story, and Bourdain does an excellent job of telling it. Maybe this episode will help you fall in love with Japan and its food just as much as it did to me. I hope you get a chance to watch it, if not we can watch it together when I get to you.

I love and miss you, 

Livy

My about me page, leans into my life and some of my hobbies, a little sneak peak into my life. However if you look deeper and pay attention to the pictures or words that I used it will maybe tell you more about me than what was just on the surface.

The easier part of terministic screen that you can figure out is that I am a woman, and i’m white. You can see that in the first picture I posted next to the Chapman panther.

In the later of my page I mention how I like to bake, and I show a photo of a cake I made. This might just seem like a hobby on the surface however I think it shows my creativity and artistic side.

When I was younger my mom always used to tell me I was very creative but I never believed her.

However as I get older and have to dive into my life and see my interests to try to choose a major/ career, I see now what she was talking about. I like to decorate and bake cakes and other pastries because it gives me an outlet to make creative choices because I think they will look good or taste good, rather than someone just telling me how to do it.

Also with crocheting I get to choose the colors and the stitch of the blanket that I make and that is very freeing because I feel like I put a piece of me into the work. (If you ever want a tutorial or want to see nice crochet blanket check out Daisy Farm Crafts)

As well as creative I also see myself as a fun and easy going person however I also think I am dedicated. Sometimes these two things can mix, which might seem a little weird however when something excites you, no matter if it is silly or serious, and you put your mind to doing it and mastering it, only good things can come out of it.

This is shown in my blog post by the Anamaniacs countries of the world song. I saw a video on Twitter (now taken down 😦 because of copyright) of Yakko Warner (the cat singing the song) singing the song and I loved it I thought it was so cute and impressive how someone had to voice that character and actually know all the words to it. So I dedicated myself to learning it.

Every time I got in the car to drive to school or practice or a friends house I would turn on that song and listen to it on repeat. Eventually I memorized it and it was a great party trick. I know it is a silly thing, why would I spend my time learning something so irrelevant? But I thought it was fun and it excited me so I mastered it.

Those are some things that I think show through in my blog post that contribute to my terministic screen. What is your terministic screen like?